Kdo Neskáče Není Čech. Hop Hop Hop!

Translation: "Who isn't jumping isn't Czech. Jump, jump, jump!"


As you hopefully are aware, most of the world is currently engaged in the time-honored tradition of World Cup Soccer (or Football, if you’re from anywhere but America). This evening, I’m happy to report that the Czech Republic brought the noise in Gelsenkirchen, Germany and bested the boys in red, white and blue on the field of battle... er, soccer... with a final score of 3-0. (Technically, the Czech players were also wearing red, white, and blue... but you get the point.) You may be taken aback by the candor with which I am boasting the defeat of my hometeam, and I guess you’re justified in feeling this way. However, in honor of today's victory, I'd like to list for you...

The Top 10 Reasons I have chosen to support the Czech Republic and not the USA in the 2006 World Cup.

1. If I were sitting in America right now, chances are pretty good that I wouldn’t be watching the World Cup. Let’s just be honest about that up front.
2. Before the game began, I could name at least 3 Czech players. Can you name any of the American players?
3. I’m a conversational English teacher. If I support America…and they win… my students stop talking to me.
4. If Czech wins, everybody is in a better mood the following day… including the ticket sellers at the train station and the ladies who work at the post office. No bad can come from a slightly improved disposition in either area.
5. I’ve watched enough Czech sports in the last two years to feel comfortable pledging to them my soccer loyalty at the very least.
6. Yahoo! thinks Czech will win it all. No harm can come from supporting a team that’s slated to win.
7. I generally watch these games in pubs surrounded by somewhat-inebriated Czech men of greater size than myself. To cheer when America scores would be to bring upon myself a world of hurt.
8. It’s really fun to cheer in Czech.
9. If America wins the World Cup, most people in the states won’t care. If Czech wins the World Cup, the national celebrations will last for a month.
10. As the announcer so frankly explained in the middle of the game this evening, “The Americans in the crowd are jumping up and down because they don’t realize that the Czechs are yelling ‘Who isn’t jumping isn’t Czech.’” (Translation)