The Ramblings of a Red-Eyed Traveler

While trying to capture my life in a simple, poetic, intellectual-sounding paraphrase for my friend Sarah, I decided this weekend that my life is like a dark blue room. I also decided that “Dark Blue Room” would make for a great album title. Its like hanging out in a room after dusk with the lights off. I’m aware of my surroundings, and how I remember things being arranged, but things are different somehow than I picture them in my head, and so I find myself flailing a bit, trying to grasp a couch armrest or cupboard corner. In the process, I stub my toe, knock a glass off the shelf, and stumble over the ottoman I forgot was there.

Regardless of the pocket-sized metaphor you find most palatable or appropriate, the fact remains that I feel lost in a familiar place.

I returned to the U.S. of A. on June 30^th, fully 8 hours after I was supposed to arrive. During the 24 hours prior to the big homecoming, I had been in 3 airplanes, 2 taxicabs, 2 busses, a smattering of airport trams, and had stood in lines for at least 4 hours in all. Half an hour off of my last plane, I turned 24.

I wish I could tell you that life breathed a sigh of relief, even for a moment. Much to my dismay, there was little downtime before the big storm hit. On July 6^th, my grandmother, Jane Oechsle, passed away after a long battle with complications from a number of strokes. It was a Wednesday evening. Family began arriving on Friday. The bittersweet irony here is that many of the family members I saw in the days following I had not seen in years… and it felt great to see some of them.

I had a few days to spare before the services and ceremonies began, so I opted to attend my friend Scott’s wedding as was originally planned. I connected with my great friends Josh and Lauren and drove down to Cincinnati. Go figure, in the time since I had left, Oxford decided to go and change. My memories of places, friends, and classes no longer fit the things I saw there. There are new buildings, new stories, and hordes of people I don’t recognize. Ugh.

Scott and Kristen Ebsen were married on Sunday, July 10^th. It was a beautiful ceremony and a great opportunity to see a million people I hadn’t seen in a year. Around midnight, Josh, Lauren and I began our journey home. It should be mentioned in passing that we stopped at a Waffle House around 3am. Praise the Lord.

By 8:30am, Josh was on a bus back to Fort Drum, New York, Lauren was on her way back to Ann Arbor, Michigan, and I was on my way to bed.

I woke up around noon, and began my search for a new suit… did I mention someone stole my suit coat at the wedding? Yeah. Picked up the new suit at 5. At 6:30, wearing the aforementioned suit, I stepped into Jenkins Funeral Home. The hours that followed were a strange mix of crying, story-telling, and hugs from people who hadn’t seen me since I was “this tall.”

The next morning, the family gathered once more for a final farewell. In a simple service in a simple church involving the simplicity that only family can bring, we said goodbye to a woman who had deeply affected all of our lives.

The following morning, I caught a flight to Los Angeles.

Its been nearly 3 weeks since I left home for LA. These 3 weeks have been chocked full of meeting, teaching, and spending time with the new Czech teachers, kickin it with my new roomie, Zach Barnes, saying goodbye to a number of the old Czech teachers, and seeking direction with a certain young lady in my life.

If you need to know the truth, I am writing this entry now, not because I think you all need to know these things about my life, but rather because I think I needed to write it down to help me process. You see, friends, I am in another airport as I write this. I have a two-hour layover between somewhere and somewhere else, and in my exhaustion I’m thinking too much. Hopefully writing this down will help.

My best friend, Josh, is coming to town in a couple of days. He’s a guy who can see through the junk in my life and tell me when I’m speaking and acting in wisdom, and when I’m just being stupid. I can’t wait to see him.

A bit later, a certain Miss Hayley Sitton will also be making the journey to Cleveland. This will mark the first time that the two of us will have spent time together in a normal place, on normal terms. This will also mark the converging of two big parts of my life… my Prague life and everything else. There are few things in this world I find quite so intimidating.

By the time I leave the country again (August 22), I will have seen just about everyone I know in this world, and said goodbye again to most of them. Two of those goodbyes in particular will hurt a whole lot… Josh will return to Fort Drum… and go to Afghanistan in February, Hayley will pursue God’s calling for her in Washington DC.

I don’t know how to bring closure to this entry. Go figure.

I guess I’ll just end with the music that has provided that backdrop for this sojourn…

Amos Lee – Amos Lee
Brock Hillman – Caught in Your Light
Rascal Flatts – Feels Like Today
Coldplay – X & Y
Matt Nathanson – Beneath These Fireworks
Jimmy Eat World – Futures